my head and my apartment are one in the same right now.

i look outside and all i see is grey.
it makes the inside, and my insides, turn grey too.

when i am home, i feel trapped.
alone with my thoughts.
alone with myself.

my apartment is full of objects, but its air that fills the cracks and spaces that is suffocating.
my mind is swimming with too many ideas, and water is pouring down so fast, i feel like im drowning in my thoughts.

i hate the grey mass closing in.
it seeps in through the window pains and covers objects in a hazy murky glow.

The desire to retreat into imaginative entertainment rather than deal with the stress, tedium, and daily problems of the mundane world.
Escape: an inclination to retreat from unpleasant realities through diversion or fantasy; "romantic novels were her escape from the stress of daily life"
Can also be used as a term to define the actions people do to try to help feelings of depression or general sadness.

i cant stay in this apartment.
i cant sleep in this apartment.
i need distractions and places to go.
i need people and sounds to change the grey to color.

i want to avoid and ignore the haunting rooms, the haunted mind.

1 comment:

Allie said...

What a beautiful post, Moorea. You know you can always escape with me anywhere you want to go. My apartment, the Queen Anne cemetery, the Matador, Brooklyn, the Lake District... Let's escape.