this is an entry from my written journal, from fourth of july.
i was sitting in the woods around camp hammer, nestled inside a circle of redwood trees.
all alone and flooded with thoughts.
july 4th, 2008 last day of Apostle 1, week 2.
patrick died 3 weeks ago.
i was brought here for so many reason.
yesterday i felt patrick's presence. i was meditating during a time of reflection with the outties (out camp kids), and was listening to the Album Leaf blasting over the speakers. I suddenly started crying. i felt him. i saw him.
i was sitting on the floor with my eyes closed. and i felt transported to a different space. i was floating. everything around me was orange and yellow and i saw a blur of blue in the corner of my right eye. patrick was there. he was above me, beside me, around me, and behind me. there was no shape. it felt like i was outside of space, outside of time. everything was a haze of beautiful color. i could barely make out patrick's brown curls and broad chest. he was looking slanted downward, peering into something. he was leaning over something.
he was protected, and protecting.
he was leading and guiding, comforting and consoling. the blue around him felt warm and misty.
he is alive.
he lives in me.
he lives in you.
he is with God.
God lives in me.
God lives in you.
He is with patrick.
the dead are not dead. they are in the eternal present with us all.
i am here.
God is here.
Patrick is here.
we are alive and well.
it is well with my soul.