New Year

I am starting this year off well.
I am a combination of things that i have always readily been able to admit that i am, and things i have always been afraid of admitting to myself that i am.
I am admitting truths that i fear.  and through that, i see ways in which i must shed layers of myself that i no longer need.  or maybe never needed to begin with.

I don't want to be stubborn anymore.  it is a barrier between me and the ones i love.
I am still determined and driven, i have high goals, and i will obtain them.  But i finally see how my goals have so much less to do with "me" and more to do with the relationships around me; how i need people desperately.
I see ways in which i have been humbled by this summer, and ways in which i need to make sure i stay humbled.

I went and talked to a financial advisor today.  I have to start paying for school and absolutely everything myself.  I need to get responsible, now.  i am an adult.  i need to continue to grow in being self reliant this these ways.
I went to the counseling center today and became a weekly client of my therapist.  I have to recognize that i need assistance a lot of the time, i need guidance, i need to learn to be ok with relying on others.

Things are going to be ok.  this is such a scary time in my life, but things will be just fine.  God has his wings stretched over me.  I know i am protected.  I know i am growing up.  I am thankful and so humbled.  Thank you God.


Allie said...

Growing up and being responsible is so weird... I'm right there with ya, girl.

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