I almost started crying a couple times in my New Pictures class yesterday. I realized suddenly that i would never be in an art class with patrick ever again. i'll never run into him in the art center. he'll never be there physically ever again.
I wrote all my friends a song about him.
No one has heard it yet.
Some professors and friends in the art department have been asking me about how i feel about Patrick being gone, and how his death is affecting me now that i am back in school, in the art department. i held it together for awhile, but i started crying once a professor
asked me to help her plan a sort of memorial event for everyone in the art dept to honor him. i felt honored to be asked to help with it, and i started crying, realizing that there was the need to honor someone in their death. i dont want to have to say goodbye, or actualize his passing. but i know i really really need to.
its so scary.
I had talked to my professor earlier this week about how i should present my song to my friends, in what context, when and where. And it seems as though this will be the event i will need to do it at. i am really scared that i will start crying while i attempt to sing. but i think i need to do it for my own sanity.
i have needed a lot of comfort recently.
here are somethings that bring me comfort:
"Boots of Spanish Leather" Bob Dylan
O Sighting Near Highland, Illinois" Sufjan Stevens
"Swept Away" The Avett Brothers
"Good Night" The Beatles
"Winter Love" Animal Collective
"On My Way" Ben Kweller
"Red Right Ankle" The Decemberists
"Overdue" The Get Up Kids
"Aqueous Transmission" Incubus
"Trance Manual" John Vanderslice
"Spelunking" Laura Veirs
"Pitseleh" Elliott Smith
"Where happiness Lives" Magnet
"Grey Whale Winter" Mariee Sioux
"House Carpenter" Nickel Creek
"Graceland" Grizzly Bear
"Batteries (1:00 am)" Scott Johnson
"Caspian Can Wait" The Velvet Teen
"Veneer" Jose Gonzalez
"Seven Swans" Sufjan Stevens
"The Milk-Eyed Mender" Joanna Newsom
"Mignonette" The Avett Brothers
"Greatest Hits" James Taylor
"Riot on an Empty Street" Kings of Convenience"Ulwandle Oluncgwele" Ladysmith Black Mambazo
"Trouble" Ray LaMontagne
"Love is Hell pts 1 &2" Ryan Adams
"Greatest Hits" Simon and Garfunkel
... any of Mason Jenning's albums
... any Elliott Smith albums
my little sisters
my very closest friends
sleepy baby kittens
snuggly sleepy babies
someone holding me
layers of warm, colorful clothing
dunking chocolate chip cookies in 2% milk, or whole milk
Haagen Das chocolate and peanut butter ice cream
Reeses peanut butter cups
anything chocolate and peanut butter
all so cozy.