i am giddy and sad at the same time.
i want to cry for every emotion. i guess mostly just for beauty.
i am reminded tonight that i just really like the mostly solitary life that i lead.
i like a few and precious relationships. and i feel bad that i have so many people that i love because i can't give as much to everyone as i want to.
also, i don't really want to meet many more people right now. its exhausting for me. and maybe i kind of want to just release myself from some acquaintances that i once knew as good friends. i love seattle. and i have good friends here. but there are a lot of people i just don't want to be friends with too.
i am looking forward to thanksgiving.
i want it to just be thanksgiving break already. actually no, i am ok with waiting. its good. patience for hopeful things to be thankful for. i am excited to see all the people i trust and adore the most. i am antsy. but each day makes me more thankful for the beautiful relationships i have in my life. i am so thankful. tears tears tears. and i am so emotional.
i'm listening to the most heart piercing music right now. it is so special that i can't even share it with you who are reading this. apologies.
but i will give you some other heart piercing music to look up. just listen to every animal collective song ever.