Friday the 13th

Today is kind of a heavy day. Well, every day this week has felt really heavy. But today is especially heavy and hard. When i wake up each morning, it is a battle to just get up. And then i have to remember i will probably cry at some point in the morning before my day can really get started. I've been trying so hard to get up at 9, but i cant pull myself out of bed till at least 11. If i am around my friends, then i can usually get to a cheerful point of laughter by the end of the day. But its just a really long emotional cycle each day. I am optimistic, and I have faith, I have hope. But that doesn't mean i won't experience pain for awhile.

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."
“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain”

On top of the heartache, today is an extra hard day. It's Friday the 13th. Patrick Hickey died last June on Friday the 13th. I am really superstitious. But i always thought that Friday the 13th was a silly thing to care about. But now it's just kind of burned into my heart and makes me think about loss and pain. Today will be a hard day. But i'll just keep singing to try to keep moving.
I don't know where i would be if i did have music right now. Thank you God.

I have been playing these songs a lot:

(for some reason the recording got messed up so the songs get cut off, and the images go too fast for the sound. but you get the gist.)

this one should work normal


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