24.4.09

Tis the Season


I really like this plaid shirt from Shipley and Halmos
also, the boy's pouty lips are incredibly beautiful.

Pouty lips. I think that is the one physical attribute of a boy that I can think of that makes me melt. But other than that, I just like brains. I like boys who love learning, be it in increasing their intellect or increasing their craft. I like the pouty lipped geniuses.
Summer is coming soon and this is the season when everyone's hormones rage and couples start exploding all over this town. I am pretty happy as a single girl. I don't particularly need or want a significant other. I mean, having a companion would be nice. I love to love. I love love love to love. But I also love being on my own, independant, only responsible for myself. It's way easier just being responsible for yourself that is for sure. And having a crush (at least in whatever time it lasts before fading out) can be more exciting and easier to have than a boyfriend sometimes. Lets be honest people. Crushing is so easy and fun because the person doesn't know you like them, and neither of you are responsible to each other for anything. Just friendship. You can retain the butterfly tummy feeling when you are crushing, and if your crushing eventually dies away, nothing is lost. You can still keep the friendship when a crush fades because they never knew you liked them in the first place. Easy.

But is that empty? Selfish? Oh the incredible risk of entering into something that could develop into love. What a powerful thing. I've experienced it quite a few times now, sometimes ending up in deep love and some ending before it reaches beyond like. The first time love ended for me at the tender age of 19, oh I was so heartbroken and so believing I had lost my one true love. But now, almost 4 years later, I feel like I can continue on risking my heart when the right things culminate at the appropriate time... with caution.

So, conclusion on my ruminations on love and crushing, all spawned by the acknowledgement of beautiful lips resting on some model who wears a shirt i like... Love is incredible, magnificent, surreal and and comforting. I love being in love, I love pursing it while in a relationship. I love doting on someone, I love giving gifts. I love caring for and about someone, admiring them, encouraging them. I love finding inspiration in someone, unconditionally and genuinely desiring their presence in my own life. I love being IN it. But i too realize that the excitment of the beginning of love fades, and I don't expect crazy manic passion to last very long within a relationship. I love the passion, but I also love the dedicated partnership, the companionship. Passion comes and goes, but the soild companionship remains as the rooted base. And a healthy friendship can give you at least a part of that parternship and companionship, not all of it, but just a little spec. And in that, I will sit and be happy, revolving crush daydreams in my head, letting them fade in and fade out as they please. Though, I have a tendancy to stick to crushing on one person for extremely long periods of time. Mostly because I'm a chicken and don't even speak up. ha, oh well. crush away crush away.

1 comment:

-Just- said...

sooo, this post made me smile. i agree, singleness is awesome but it's almost summer and there's nothing more fun than a good crush :)
oh and ps- congrats on your work being on someone's blog!! that's awesome