4.5.09

Miss ya

me, baby sister, middle sister at middle sister's graduation

my middle sister Alexandra and I used to have our septum's pierced. I got mine in the late fall of 2007 and she got her's in the spring of 2008. Mine fell out in the night one day in the fall of 2008 and closed up immediately and she took hers out in the spring of 2009 for various reasons.
sometimes i really really miss it. Though I was told quite a few times by quite a few people that I "looked prettier without it", I still loved it. It wasn't about getting a piercing to try to impress anyone or to try to fit in with anyone. And it wasn't the opposite of that, trying to isolate myself from other just by an alteration of image. It was just about having that healthy kind of pride on myself, taking full confidence in who I am and not caring about people's opinions of what "makes me look prettier or less pretty."
I actually had a good friend of mine cry when they saw me with it for the first time because they of how much they didn't like it and how they thought I had suddenly "changed." Quite a few said that they felt like I had "changed" a lot when getting it, implying a bad connotation. Really now? If anything, it was a visual representation of a beautiful and healthy interior change.
You know what, it kind of feels offensive to hear someone I respect say, "Yea I didn't really get why you did that. You look a lot prettier without it."
It has nothing to do with pretty. It has nothing to do with you my friend who without necessity critiques my looks. I know people don't mean to be offensive, probably the opposite actually. I know they probably are just trying to tell me that I look nice or whatever. But there is no need to compare a person to their history. I liked myself then and I like myself now and little of it has to do with a particular level of prettiness.
I like me, I liked my septum piercing, and I liked what it stood for for me. I miss it.

Alexandra's thoughts on her piercing:
I miss mine too. I can't have it for camp though, that's one problem with this camp, they are pretty conservative. Maybe next summer camp hammer will work out. Or maybe I will completely fall in love with this one. Only time will tell.
As for septum noseys and piercings/tattoos in general, I don't see how people thought I had "changed" when I got it, because it was just an extension of me being myself. My septum was pierced so that I could learn how to love myself despite what others thought, and it worked. I also got it because I never ever ever do anything for myself, I am always giving to others. I suppose when people heard that, they did think that there was change in me, but it was actually what I had been wanting to do for so long. I just had to let go of caring for others for once and just take care of myself.
I loved my little septum, and I loved the support I had when I got it (especially from Miles and from you). I like my little scar I can feel from it, it reminds me of why I did it.. That I CAN do things for myself, and I can feel beautiful in any situation, with or without anything on me.

My sisters are incredible.

3 comments:

Margaret said...

:) That's how I felt about my nose piercing. I had a ring and a few people didn't think it was needed. Even Leif. It hurt my feelings when people told me I was prettier without it.

Alexandra said...

(i took mine out spring 09 for a lot of reasons, but it did fall out at one point and i had to gauge it over again before it closed up that time)

I miss mine too. I can't have it for camp though, that's one problem with this camp, they are pretty conservative. Maybe next summer camp hammer will work out. Or maybe I will completely fall in love with this one. Only time will tell.
As for septum noseys and piercings/tattoos in general, I don't see how people thought I had "changed" when I got it, because it was just an extension of me being myself. My septum was pierced so that I could learn how to love myself despite what others thought, and it worked. I also got it because I never ever ever do anything for myself, I am always giving to others. I suppose when people heard that, they did think that there was change in me, but it was actually what I had been wanting to do for so long. I just had to let go of caring for others for once and just take care of myself.
I loved my little septum, and I loved the support I had when I got it (especially from Miles and from you). I like my little scar I can feel from it, it reminds me of why I did it.. That I CAN do things for myself, and I can feel beautiful in any situation, with or without anything on me.

Bridget said...

I completely understand where you are coming from, but I think you're being kind of harsh. Some people don't like the aesthetics of piercings and tattoos--and they're being honest about it. That doesn't mean they think you're a worse person, or that you're ugly because you made that choice. They just think you look prettier without it. The same goes for clothes, I think. My family made fun of me all the time for wearing skirts over jeans in high school, and while, yeah, it was annoying, it didn't mean they completely disapproved of everything about me.

Other people are also just really squeamish and the thought of some piercings makes them averse to them on anyone. As in, the septum ones make me cringe. I can't tell you how much I couldn't even ever think about doing that. Yet---I think the confidence you wear in those smiles...you are happy. I would never talk down such happy-looking people.

Another interesting thing that one of my friends from work mentioned the other day on the subject of things girls wear that he really just doesn't like...he said he didn't like how the hipsters dress in their vintage dress and ballet flats and try to look all cool by being just different enough but still trying to fit in without looking like they're trying. I looked at him and said, "But I wear vintage dresses and ballet flats." and the response was, "Yeah, but I know you...you wear vintage because you want to."

Moral of the story? You can't judge a person based on what they wear, or think they've changed simply due to losing a piercing. End of story.