I haven't posted a blog in over a week and a half.
Well, I haven't been on the internet much since I graduated. And I have been thinking too much about too many big ideas that can't really be explained in a short little blog post.
Maybe I'll try a little.
guh, I don't think I can actually. I keep typing things and then erasing them. I have lots of mixed emotions about lots of things. I am happy, I am sad, I am joyful, I am melancholy, I am nervous, I am in no way bored. I am thankful for all things.
Themes: being shy, reclusion, existential questioning, future ideas, longing, extreme bashfulness, fear of speaking, contentment, extremism, idealism, fantastical dreaming, questions of what to pursue, constant embarrassment of myself mixed with deep happiness for who i am, how and where to follow God.
I am feeling SO melancholy it is ridiculous, just dying to sneak away into reclusion and dwell on everything I am thinking about... with a few spurts of momentary ridiculousness where my linger bits of entertainer Moorea pop out and embarrass me.
I'm just feeling weird in lots of ways, good and bad. Pray for a little bit of peace for me maybe, and a lot of direction.