I am not quite sure why, but I suddenly just started crying. I think I just started thinking about the hardships of some of my friends. I think my heart just broke a little. I have some really really lovely friends, and I just am sad to see what they have been going through lately. Different situations for different people. I just want peace and comfort in their lives. As you get older, new hardships enter in. When you are young there are so many bad things that can happen. But when you are older, things don't get particularly easier. Some things get easier, and then new things get harder. I want to do some nice things for my friends who are having really really hard times right now. But there are so many people. And I am not even taking much time to take care of myself right now.
I guess, I ask you to pray for people that you do not know.
Pray for those who have been hurt by others, and because of the constant weakening caused by others (who are quick to take advantage of sweet people) their hearts and spirits are waning. Pray that they are reminded of their beauty, the radiance they have within and the deep value that is embedded in their essence.
Pray for those who because of their own weak hearts, take advantage of hearts that are yearning for fulfillment just as strongly as their own.
Pray for those who give and give, who love and love, whose hearts are always open to what God has to give to them. Who are gentle and kind, and who fight to keep their spirits alive when there is so much death that happens so closely nearby, even within. Pray for big hearts that must keep living even when little baby hearts stop beating.
Pray for those who pursue love and giving fully, who hear God calling them back to him after time away and who, even in fear, listen and respond. Pray for their entrance and journey in life long commitment to another being. Pray that when they and their loved ones enter into times of loss, times that force them to hang on short strings, within tiny boundaries, confinement due to loss of income, that they would receive blessings in new and comforting ways.
Pray for those making big transitions, moving to new places even when it is completely frightening. Pray that even in fear, they may remain strong and confident in why they are traveling on. Give them reason to be in a new place. Given them revelation and confidence in the persons they are.
Pray for peace within each person.
I wish I could bring peace to every person's life. I really do. It makes me cry. I haven't cried in quite awhile actually. My heart sometimes just feels like it is being tugged from my chest. I'm not even dramatizing it. I actually have the feeling of my heart being wrenched from between my ribs.
I haven't written a poem in a very long time. But I guess taking time alone finally caused this to bubble up:
That Pulling Feeling
It sometime feels like some sort of translucent rope has fastened itself around the fist sized pulsating muscle inside of me and is slowly tugging the slippery organ out. The caverns of my interior world fight against it. The walls of my chest build up hard defenses, each brick expanding in size, surrounding the organ and the strings that tug. The veins that shoot out from quivering tissue twist and tangle, and a few are jostled free, ripping away the connection to the body. Something outside of me keeps a tight hold, never releasing its grip, but occasionally slowing its pulling pace.
Gods hands are strong, never idle. Never relenting, but sometimes seeming to fade and drift to the rhythm of my beat. Often, I let the thump of my heart drown out the secret whispers that glide from the clouds of God's lips. But when my pumping heart beats too rhythmically with my own fleeting feet, He tugs and He tugs. And I feel His pull once again. I feel His pull.