I think what it comes down to is that I desperately miss my sisters. Desperately. I usually see them at least in the winter and the summer. At least every few months. But I haven't been home since the beginning of February. Maybe I have been lacking in camaraderie. But I feel like I should be fulfilled already by the friendships I have. I have great friends. Nothing can replace the companionship I already have with my sisters.
On top of that, I think the season change into Autumn always makes me feel the need for a companion. I don't like large groups. I don't like being around a lot of people, more than 3 usually feels too much. I don't particularly even need 3. I do, on the other hand, just like having someone there. some-1. I don't think I need a boyfriend. I don't need a serious relationship. I don't even think I need a titled relationship of any sort. and I am not looking to hook up with someone either. I just like having a companion in male form who is smarter than me and who challenges me and enjoys being around me as much as I enjoy them.
Also, I miss school. School has started and I am not studying. I miss studying. I miss learning, mind expansion. I think I am going to start studying logic on my own. I miss class discussion about art. Maybe I need to take an art class. I think I might go sit in on random classes at the University of Washington. They are so huge I can get away with it, though probably not the art classes.
Ahh... I'm just feeling weird, in a funk. And my heart is really heavy knowing that a friend of mine from home is in process of losing her dad to pancreatic cancer right at this very moment. Pray for her.
I'm feeling funky in a non danceable way.