10.3.10

back again


Just arrived home, Seattle home, after visiting my family and bf for a few days.
Uhg. I feel torn. It appears as though I will need to get used to feeling this strain between 2 worlds until the fall. I have beautiful things in my life, it just sucks that they happen to be spread out between 2 states with one other state slapped in between.

Family: I love you deeply and I am always missing you.
Boyfriend: You are so wonderful and I am always missing you.
Nevada City: You are a lovely little town, and will always be my home, but I can't come home yet. It won't be time for another 10, 20, or 30 years.
Seattle: You are a lovely city, and will always be the home of my transition into adulthood, but I don't know if I will stay here for years to come. I don't know if I will stay here for even more than another year.

I feel torn, but so very thankful for all of these things that cause the torn feelings. I feel a little speechless, quiet. I can't express the feeling.


In other news, having lots of things that I care deeply about makes me want to get my ish in order and work hard and save money so I can keep all the things I care about active in my life, like visiting home etc. I am already loving my Indie Biz class, it is really helping me to focus. I hope I can really whip my business in to shape and be professional and awesome.

3 comments:

publicknitting said...

That sucks that you feel so torn. Hang in there.

Roxanne said...

Sometimes the right thing to do isn't the easiest one. I know how you feel girl. Hang in there, it'll fall into place.

Marsinah (mar-see-na) said...

Thinking about leaving Seattle? I just got here :) Sad you are feeling so torn.. It will all make sense..keep being creative! xoxo