back again

Just arrived home, Seattle home, after visiting my family and bf for a few days.
Uhg. I feel torn. It appears as though I will need to get used to feeling this strain between 2 worlds until the fall. I have beautiful things in my life, it just sucks that they happen to be spread out between 2 states with one other state slapped in between.

Family: I love you deeply and I am always missing you.
Boyfriend: You are so wonderful and I am always missing you.
Nevada City: You are a lovely little town, and will always be my home, but I can't come home yet. It won't be time for another 10, 20, or 30 years.
Seattle: You are a lovely city, and will always be the home of my transition into adulthood, but I don't know if I will stay here for years to come. I don't know if I will stay here for even more than another year.

I feel torn, but so very thankful for all of these things that cause the torn feelings. I feel a little speechless, quiet. I can't express the feeling.

In other news, having lots of things that I care deeply about makes me want to get my ish in order and work hard and save money so I can keep all the things I care about active in my life, like visiting home etc. I am already loving my Indie Biz class, it is really helping me to focus. I hope I can really whip my business in to shape and be professional and awesome.


Anonymous said...

That sucks that you feel so torn. Hang in there.

Roxanne said...

Sometimes the right thing to do isn't the easiest one. I know how you feel girl. Hang in there, it'll fall into place.

Marsinah (mar-see-na) said...

Thinking about leaving Seattle? I just got here :) Sad you are feeling so torn.. It will all make sense..keep being creative! xoxo