14.4.10

Glasses Crew

So the other day I was thinking about the different famous people that I dig and after looking up said people online I realized that they all had something in common...glasses!  Now, for those of you who don't know me in real life, I wear glasses everyday.  Mostly because I am thrifty and don't want to buy contacts all the time when glasses are free.  But also because they kind of became like a new limb once I got used to them resting on the bridge of my nose my freshman year of high school.  Once those little puppies solidly stationed themselves on the nice little aristocratic ledge on my nose, given to me by either my Jewish or Native American great grandparent, they proclaimed to the world, "It's official everyone!  Moorea is a dork and isn't afraid to show it!  She also is scared of poking her eyeballs out from trying to put in contacts!  And she is really cheap, err, thrifty, and doesn't want to spend more money on contacts, so that will stop her from even contemplating un-nerd-ifying herself for 3 years!"

It wasn't until the end of my junior year of high school, when for some reason I decided to do powder puff football, that I got contacts.  Ok, powder puff football was kind of a big deal in high school.  Girls would line up at 4am in front of the student union just to be one of the 30 girls that would make it on to the team, first come first serve.  I, the 5'9" 120 lb scrawny lanky girl that I was, somehow ended up being assigned the position of line backer (WHAT!?)  And I was pummeled by my opponents.  The seniors were allowed to crush us because seniors HAD to win every year.  I literally got tossed in the air like a plastic bag and flipped full circle onto my back.  Incredible.  The girl on the other team was hulk!
But anyway, I needed to get contacts to do powder puff, obviously.  And the thing about getting contacts for the first time is that you are not allowed to leave the store until you put them in and take them out 3 times to show you understand how to do it.  ...it took me 3 HOURS just to get those things to stick in my eyes and then to scrape them out.  I was in so much pain, oh man...my eyes were blood shot and I was crying by the time I got out of there.
And then, when I was at school the next day with my contacts in, some of my best friends didn't even recognize me when they walked past me.  It was hilarious.  I mean, I don't think I look that different with them on or off, but I guess people just had, by that time, melded my glasses into being a part of my identity.  I had welcomed them into becoming a part of my identity really.  I've always loved my glasses.  Except for freshman year of high school when I said about 5 words the entire year and had a total of 1 friend.  Wa wa.

Freshman year my glasses were rounded tortise shell with green on the inside.
Sophomore year they were rectangular plastic black frames with light purple on the inside, so emo.
Junior year they were 50s style with a thick black plastic rim on the top and a thin metal on the bottom.
Senior year they were kitschy 50s style red cat eye glasses with 3 little diamonds in each corner.

Freshman/Sophomore year of college they were a camel colored plastic rectangular frame with thick gold metal sides.
Junior year I got the glasses I still wear now which are super modern think black oval shaped metal rims with white thin sides, and the lens sort of magically floats dis-attached from the rim on the sides.  Maybe I'll take pictures of all the glasses I still have hidden away in a drawer tomorrow to show you the progression.

Man, I really need new glasses.  I want to wear the 50s black glasses I had in high school but I can't find them anywhere.  Sigh...

Ps, here is the crew of glasses donned famous people that need to get in my posse right now.  We would be an awesome team.
Duh, of course I wouldn't leave out Harry Potter, are you kidding me?
I told you guys, I'm a nerd.  The glasses suit me.

6 comments:

andrea said...

In the past few weeks Greg and I have watched two Woody Allen movies. Annie Hall & Play It Again Sam. I'm not gonna lie I wasn't a fan. Woody Allen is pretty whiney.

Morganism said...

I like Woody Allen, but I have to say, he is a misogynist.

Anyway, do you ever experience phantom glasses? You know, when you take them off you still feel as if they are there? You can even still see the frames?

Ira Glass = <3

Kyla Roma said...

Psst - We need to see yours now!! =)

Roxanne said...

Colbert is so sexy to me! And I'm in the glass club too, I just have no desire to wear contacts, plus no cute frames.

Heidi pumpkin pie said...

I love Ira Glass and Stephen Colbert!

Heidi Colbert.

awmb said...

Ha! This is cute! I really like your glasses, but I could see how you want a change. I have my massive minty colored ones, but they're just so big that I have to take them off sometimes because my face feels claustrophobic. I am thinking about contacts, but I don't have that bad of a prescription. We'll see, I guess.