27.6.11

I am an Introvert.


I am an introvert.  Being introverted means lots of things, but it's not a bad thing.  I think many people, especially those who are not introverted and have a hard time understanding it, believe that introverts are simply reclusive, aloof, confusing, too sensitive, and lots of other crappy negative labels.  Many times in my life, I have wished that I were extroverted.  I have had times where being introverted felt like a curse, a problem, and something that needed to be fixed.  I have felt like my personality just didn't make sense with who I am as a person filled to the brim with passion and heart. 
We as introverts are fed lots of mistaken information about "who we are" by people who may not understand us fully.  We even force feed false information to ourselves, hoping that we can come closer to understanding ourselves more fully.  And as a generally inquisitive, introspective, and sensitive group of people, we take anything that appears to be informative to heart.  But sometimes the information we receive isn't always accurate.

There are lots of myths about introverts.  Things like, Introverts are shy, rude, don't like to talk, don't like many people, are aloof, don't know how to relax, don't like going out in public, and so on...  These labels don't explain how we really feel.  I know I can be timid at times, but I also have a very powerful and strong willed side.  I'm not just shy.  I don't like pointless chit chat, but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk.  I love one on one conversations where both people are able to speak deeply and freely about what they are passionate about.  I appreciate honesty, I just don't like banter about nothing in particular.  I need quiet and peace to relax and recharge, but that doesn't mean I like being completely alone all the time.  I love spending one on one time with good friends.  I don't like being in high energy places for long periods of time, but I do love going out to bars or going dancing every so often, and just because I am an introvert doesn't mean that I can't get loud and silly and excited.

Do you relate?  Or do you have friends or family members who sound like this?  Well, I recently read a really interesting little article that explained what is actually true behind Myths about Introverts.  It was so comforting reading someone else describing who I am, how I feel, and how I experience life in an eloquent and graceful way.  You can check out the article here at 10 Myths About Introverts by Carl King.  Carl King reflects on his reading of a book called The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D (I'm really intrigued by the concept of this book and am considering buying it soon.)  It was so refreshing to hear a little bit about how there are actual biological reasons as to why there are Extroverts and Introverts.  King writes, "A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place." 


Whether that scientific information is true or not, it gives me comfort trusting that being an introvert is not a mistake, it is not a challenge, it is not something wrong, it is simply and beautifully who I am. When I prepare myself to speak thoughtfully, sometimes I get so worked up just about the fact that I need to speak that I lose all of my intellectual thoughts and I feel like I have nothing worthy to say.  That is possibly the hardest thing about being an introvert.  I know my mind is bright, but because I am naturally cautious and always think before I speak, I can lose my thoughts in my nervousness and end up feeling stupid or foolish when I do finally try to speak.  I end up saying something that is a garbled mess of what I was actually thinking or I just completely lose all thought.  It's hard sometimes being introverted, especially during those times that I am being misunderstood.  But I try my best to remember that all person's highest qualities can work against them and this goes for Introverts and Extroverts.  I have a hard time speaking sometimes, but at least I am thoughtful.  And I have many other things to be proud of because I am an introvert.

I am calm, take things one at a time, and am extremely loyal.  I am contemplative and when I say something to you, I truly mean it.  I am slow and steady, cautious and I like to be prepared.  I'm a good listener.  I have bad short term memory but I am very persistent and have belief in my efforts.  I can rise to the occasion and do the best I can in whatever situation, but at the end of the day, I know myself and I love my recharge time as an introvert.  I am a good partner and very trustworthy.  I do my best to give the wisest advice and I would never try to trick someone into anything for my own pleasure.  I will write you notes of love when verbal words feel too powerful or hard to speak and you can keep them forever.  I try my best to speak kindly because I understand my thoughts can be intense sometimes.  I am protective.  I notice the little things.  I work well with others because I am very patient and understanding of differences.  I am a peacemaker.  I am detail oriented in my work and social life.  I appreciate the thought and effort put into anything and find value in efficiency and hard work.  I have a hard time reaching out to others, but I am so thankful and grateful to you when you reach out to me.  I am a lover of humanity and I choose to be optimistic.  I am an introvert.  And I am happy to be who I am.


It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.  - Erasmus

Are you an introvert?  Are you an extrovert who sees similarities in someone you love that correlate with what I wrote about?

58 comments:

  1. I'm the same way! What a comfort to read this and have a fellow introvert hit the nail on the head. I can relate to soooo much of this post and the article. I'm glad there are introverts in the world to bring balance. It sometimes (often) feels difficult to fit in a world of seemingly a majority of extroverts, but I wouldn't trade being me. I always say I'm an outgoing introvert. I like people but I need to recharge on my own. Thanks for this great post!

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  2. I always called myself a "reluctant extrovert" because of all the reasons you listed above! lol don't like chit chat but still love having discussions that mean something... need quiet to relax but will revel in sensory indulgence when i feel like it... definitely affected by too much noise, etc...
    great post moorea!

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  3. Fantastic post, I loved reading it! I am an introvert, and one of the best things I ever did was learning about it and accepting it (which happened about 2 years ago). My life is SOOO much less stressful now that I understand myself better and don't beat myself up or feel like the 'odd one out' because of my introverted quirks, needs and limitations. I loathe small talk but love nothing better than a deep-and-meaningful chat, even for hours. I hate being put on the spot, I can never think in those situations (which is hard because life involves a lot of meetings/running into people on the street/being introduced to new people etc where you are required to speak without having time to observe and think things through before speaking). It's so comforting to know there are other people out there going through the same things :) xxx

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  4. I am somewhat of an introvert. My wife is much more introverted than I, which is why we make such a good team. We are together 24/7 for two important reasons. One is because we SIMPLY LOVE being together. 2 is because - only with each other - we have separation anxiety. Mine is much worse than Jen's, but it is still there for us both. Because we live, work and play together - Jen can be her somewhat shyer, quieter self. I don't mind one bit. And I can be the shyer, but more talkative one who explains we're simply introverts. A lot of people DO understand.

    We were once told that a good friend had first thought we were bitchy, because we always seemed to ourselves and on the quiet side. Than they got to know us. ;)

    Jen has a hard time making friends, because she is shy, more to herself, quiet and can be very nervous as to how she expresses herself. In fact, I JUST got her into blogging. She was worried how that first post would sound, if people would be nice, etc.

    I have had the same thing, especially in a setting such as work. Jen also has social anxiety, so that which is hard for her as an introvert is even harder with the anxiety!

    I think people who "don't understand" are either people who, well, DON'T understand or don't WISH to understand. People who do? Those are people worth knowing.

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  5. I can completely relate. When I was growing up, my own mother would call me a recluse and didn't know why I wasn't in a bunch of clubs like she was. It made me feel "less than". It wasn't until she started dating an introvert and read a book about being one when she finally understood how I am wired.

    I only have a few close friends and I feel that nowadays, that is almost looked down on as well, with people counting how many friends you have on different social networks, it's just another way they can judge you. Even though I am trying to make new friends, I understand and accept that I will never be outgoing. I will get anxious if I'm going somewhere I don't know, hate small talk, and I'm even trying to get over the hurdle of getting more personal on my own blog. Your blog has really inspired me to do so and reminded me that I do have a voice. Thank you for that, Moorea.

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  6. Also, those pictures of you are beautiful. You're going to be a great model for your jewelry. :)

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  7. Honestly I don't know what I am! I am very intrigued and will do more research to find out what I am! :) This was a beautifully written post!

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  8. Wonderful post.

    I love how honest, thoughtful, and reflective you are. I need to do much more of it.

    Thank you for inspiring your readers to know and love themselves.

    anna

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  9. I read your other post about being an introvert, and it really spoke to me. Sometimes it's hard preferring your own company over the company of others. I always wonder if I am just being a bad friend. It's not like I'm avoiding people because I dislike them--I really do!--but I have so much going on, so much I want to get accomplished, and all of this is better done alone. Your posts on this give me a lot of comfort in knowing I'm not being a jerk--I'm just being me. Thanks!

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  10. thank you for this post. i am an introvert and last summer realized its not a bad thing, and that being like this makes me the creative person i am, so i wouldn't change it for anything. thanks for putting what i felt so eloquently :)

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  11. This was a really great post! I'm definitely introverted, I can't stand crowded malls or mindless babble over the phone. I have always been painfully shy and critical of myself and it has always been something that I needed to "change" or "work on". I can say that my shyness has improved with age and wisdom but I can't tell you how many jobs out there are looking for extroverts and how many times I have been chastised for not being "more outgoing" (like when I worked at Abercrombie or Chilis). These places may not call me a people person but I would have to disagree, I'm just not a stranger person. I also think that along with being introverted there is a bit of nervousness about many things, anything new makes me incredibly nervous. But like I've told my mom a million times after she tries to give me helpful advice, "I can't help it". I think I definitely need to embrace this aspect of me instead of continuing to see it as negative and trying to change it. Thanks so much for sharing! :) -Lo

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  12. Yes, all true, and the comments about "reaching out" are particularly resonant. The comment from Angie above is interesting - I too have a partner who helps indirectly because although we're both introverted, our differences add up to give us both confidence. And at 39 years old now, constantly working with other people, it's amazing how many of the differences have evened out. I still hate doing (say) the telephone interview for a job applicant that I did this morning, but I just got on with it. And my more extrovert colleagues have learned more self awareness and introspection, too, I'm sure. I think to enjoy life we have to ensure we balance ourselves: take advantage of strengths, and I don't want to say "fight our weaknesses" but rather ensure we grow in the weaker areas so that they don't hold us back.

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  13. I love your post.

    I recently (like a year ago) found out what an introvert really is. I read this article:

    http://giftedkids.about.com/od/socialemotionalissues/tp/introverts.htm

    ...and I was overwhelmed and happy. Why?
    Because I'm dating a guy who is 100000% an extrovert. He goes out every night, talks to anyone and 50% of strangers that walk past him. He can't stand 2 minutes of dead silence either in person or on the phone.

    You can imagine how hard a relationship like that is! I would just stay at home and make out or go out one-on-one with someone and have conversations. He would get jealous because I can't really have conversations like that with him!

    In that sense, I feel kind of burdened since me and my boyfriend probably will never have that kind of connection. ..but I wouldn't want to be an extrovert. I'd rather know myself well than know 100 people slightly.

    Dori

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  14. make art*
    not make out... hahaha!

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  15. Thank you so much for posting this, Moorea. I am absolutely an Introvert and am often left thinking this is something I need to change. I completely relate to your post and the 10 Myths article - thanks for letting us Introverts know we're not alone!

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  16. Thank you for posting this. I am an introvert and often misunderstood by others as being strange or weird. Mostly my family doesn't understand me...I am glad that I am not alone in my feelings. :)

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  17. Love this! I am definitely an introvert and I just realized it within the last year, but it definitely makes things easier when I can understand that that's just how I am and I should try to fight it! Its awesome to see that there are other introverts out there :)

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  18. This blog post was the perfect way to start my Monday. I am an introvert and always thought it was wrong. Thank you so much for posting this.

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  19. Thank you for this post. I am certainly and introvert. I enjoy being around my friends and people that I love, but also enjoy time to recharge and be alone. I am a very creative and intuitive person. I like having experiences and connecting them to something deep within me. However, sometimes it's still hard for me to branch out and meet new people. It can be easier to stand alone at a party versus jumping right in. Sometimes it's little things like answering the phone at work (but I usually get over it after the first call or two), ordering pizza on the phone, or calling someone (like financial aid office for help). Getting up in front of our guy friends to play 'Dance Central' on the Kinect was horrifying at first, but eventually fun. I can relate to being an introvert and I'm so incredibly you took time to post. <3

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  20. Thank you
    Thank you
    Thank you!

    I needed this today. I just went canoeing with group of extrovert strangers and was feeling more self conscious about being an introvert than ever. Your post just explains all the struggles and beauties of being an introvert so well. You are not alone, I am not alone, we are all not alone. Being an introvert isn't a bad thing, like I can often convince myself it is. It's just different.

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  21. Thank you so much for posting this, I can relate a lot with this. Sometimes I just prefer to stay home and work on projects than hang out and a lot of the times it's hard for me to speak up in a crowd of people. But that doesn't mean I'm anti-social. I do love talking and being silly with people who I'm comfortable with.

    And you look very pretty in those pictures :)

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  22. Oh wow. This is perfection, and I couldn't agree more. I am an introvert, and I hate that we're labeled as being so anti-social and quiet. In fact, I have bursts of outgoingness all the time. However, like you, it's so very important to me to shut off all the noise and recharge quite regularly. I really love this.

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  23. I am definately an introvert--I think too much about things sometimes that I can't get my thoughts to come across right if they come out at all. Most of the time I battle things out in my head rather than speak them. I'm misunderstood by most and fully understood and appreciated by closest friends who have taken the time to get to know me. Most think I'm mysterious since I'm not out in the open with my thoughts...this could also be do to the fact that I'm a scorpio but that's another story. Anyway, this post made my day!

    ♥ Cassie

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  24. I can completely relate. I know for sure that I am an introvert, which does not mean that I can't be outgoing and fun around people.
    I think I just reflect more on situations, people and events and I tend to overthink a lot. At the same time, I feel that this gives me more sensitivity towards other people and that can never be a bad thing.

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  25. I am introvert sometimes XDD I don´t want to be like those people that like to talk or be friends with anybody :S I don´t trust easy , and I think it is stupid try to be popular to fit in :S come on!!
    I like my friends and family but also myself ;)

    sorry for my bad english T_T

    have a great day

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  26. I was extremely shy since the age of 3 up until college-- my parents would even get mad at me sometimes for not opening my mouth when strangers would talk to me. It wasn't until college that I developed more self-confidence and started to become more... selectively outgoing? I think I'm more extroverted when I feel comfortable about something I know a lot about. But I still prefer writing e-mails to strangers to calling them on the phone!

    I loved reading everyone's comments, we all have great things in common :)

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  27. I have 2 very distinct sides. One is very extroverted, life of the party, feeds off energy. The other is happiest on my own, reading and listening to music. As I get older, I am realizing that I need to honor both sides. This year has been much more of an introvert year, but I have chosen to honor those needs too. I don't have to go out every weekend to be living my life to it's fullest, and that's just fine by me.

    -Bekah

    http://bekahdrey.blogspot.com

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  28. I completely understand this, and I am most definitely an introvert. There, I said it :) Thank you so much for the article. I just finished reading it and it's nice to see and feel that other are the same way. I always thought something was wrong with me. Maybe that I should have more friends. But its extremely important to me to only surround myself with positive people, and people I feel an instant connection with. That is how I have found the people in my life. Through a vibe, through a connection I felt with them the moment I met them.

    I value the few people that are close to me and I only let very few people in. I read this book by Leo Buscaglia, called Living, Loving and Learning, and its a beautiful little book I read and it talked about how life is like a movie or even play, and we get to cast the people in our play [life]. And I always remembered that. And I have a pretty good cast/crew ;)

    I loved the 10 myths, they all summarized me almost exactly.

    I usually keep to myself, and I don't participate with larger groups, I don't have many friends, or maybe no friends at all, I am very close to my family and my partner. I could stay in all day, but I do love going out too. I don't talk to talk, but I love to talk about things that are important to me, like art, social issues, enviornmental issues, criminal justice, and other topics.

    I know that people have always taken my "introvert" status and thought not so nice things. So I have been wrongly labeled. I have been called a hermit, which is okay, because hermits are cute:)

    I don't drink, so in college there really wasn't anyone else that would hang out with my on a friday night, except my partner, Yanni, who also doesn't drink, and we would go on our own adventures, and I liked it just the way it was. My little bubble of comforts, stress free, and happiness!

    Thanks so such a wonderful post. I don't feel like such an outcast :)

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  29. I am an introvert and I completely related to a lot of your descriptions. Thank you for this inspiring and comforting post!

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  30. Ooh, the NY Times ran a column on this exact topic a few days ago:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/opinion/sunday/26shyness.html

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  31. Thanks for your post Moorea. I am an introvert too. Sometimes I struggle with this because of the public image that 'going out, doing stuff with others all the time, partying' is more fun than making illustrations or reading a book at home. I do like to party, but I need my alone time as well. I am getting better at accepting who I am, including that social happenings every single night are not fun to me, only sometimes I feel not a lot of others understand. It is really nice and refreshing to hear you talk about the topic. Thanks again :)

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  32. This is beautifully written and extremely helpful. I am sort of going through a rough time lately with my relationship and I feel in part its because our personalities are different. I am definitely an introvert. I perfet my own company or the company of only a few people. Big crowds and places that are too crowded make me jumpy. As a child, I talked all the time, but I am much quieter now. It's nice to know that not everyone finds our similar personalities boring. Thank you. :)

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  33. I love this. I'm an introvert too and completely relate to everything said. I always sort of figured introverts were just naturally more creative and we'd rather be in our own company and thoughts than with others, but I also felt like it was a flaw. Needless to say, I love seeing that that's not true. I also just love the fact that all personalities are so beautifully and brilliantly different and beautiful. We're all who we are for a reason!

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  34. I think the hardest part of being an introvert is the guilt associated with needing periods of time alone to recharge. I find it difficult to give myself permission to take time to do nothing with nobody. So many people appear to be able to go, go, go all the time.
    Although, I think it is a strength to be able to set time aside for one's self and to enjoy it.

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  35. i can completely relate. i don't think i've ever heard someone speak so clearly and to the point about how it feels to be an introvert.

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  36. Ahhh, this was such a good read for me right now. As you probably could have guessed, I'm an extrovert. I'm passionate about socializing, meeting new people, speaking out, etc. However, my other half Glenn, not so much. I wouldn't exactly say he's COMPLETELY introverted but he is definitely not as confident being as outgoing as me. It causes some rifts here and there, because I feel that just like introverts are often misunderstood by their extorted counterparts, the same can be said about it being the other way around. He sometimes misinterprets being friendly and outgoing for being an attention-seeker. It can be messy but I always encourage him to communicate his feelings with me about those types of things.

    Anyway, I love you and your introverted self. Just from reading your blog over the past year I can attest to the fact that you've come out of your shell more and are taking more risks and challenging yourself. Its a good thing<3

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  37. This was simply amazing. From one happy introvert to another, thank you :)

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  38. What a coincidence, I actually blogged about this last week! http://oldhatter.blogspot.com/2011/06/introvert.html

    I loved Carl King's article, it also made me feel as if I understood myself and my introverted ways better, being able to articulate it.
    Thanks for the great post!

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  39. This is such a nice reflection and you look amazing in the photographs. Sometimes I think that I am a little bit of both if it's possible at all, I like all the solitary activities of an introvert (reading/drawing for example) but I thrive on talking with people and meeting new friends. Do people like me exist then or is it firmly just extroverts vs. introverts?

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  40. Thank you so much for writing this!
    I think all introverts feel very misunderstood by people because part of being introverted is that you don't always show your true self to the outside.
    Everyone in high school (except my close friends) thought I was the biggest bitch. Just because I didn't talk to anyone and I have a natural "bitch face". Even my friends now will tell you that when they first met me they thought I was a huge bitch, but I turned out to be the sweetest girl ever.
    I used to wish I could be an extrovert like my best friend, but as I've gotten older I've come to accept my ways. I'll never be a party girl, socialite, life of the party, the girl everyone wants to be. And I'm okay with that. I don't like most people my age anyway, so staying home with a good movie beats a party full of drunk strangers anyday.
    Once in a while, usually when with an extrovert friend, I can be crazy and outgoing. Those few occasions of being extroverted are enough for me. I think it's fun to be an introvert with extrovert friends because they can help you come out of your shell, introduce you to people, be your safety net.
    I guess I just wanted to say, thanks for sharing your thoughts, fellow introvert! <3

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  41. Oh my goodness - I truly loved reading this post. You honestly have described me to a T, and it's such a relief to me to read everything here when I think it so often myself. The parts that jumped out at me the most (and fit me the best) were the portions about having to speak (and working yourself up to the point that you really can't even get anything logical out - I feel like an idiot a lot of the time, and then get down on myself when I know that's not the case) and "not being able to relax." I often feel like people don't necessarily get to know the real me because of things like that (and feel worried that they're judging me incorrectly). I"m going to read the two articles you linked to, as well - can't wait to see what they have to say.

    XO

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  42. this described me exactly! in a family of mostly extroverts, it can be hard sometimes. although there are a few things i need to work on (the not so great things about introverts), this and your other post about introverts helped me come to terms to who i really am. thank you!

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  43. thank you for this honest and beautifully written post. I found myself nodding along the whole time I was reading. So much of what you said holds true with me as well. I have often in my life felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with me, when I preferred to stay home on a Friday night, especially with an overly-extroverted mother (who, bless her, tries to live vicariously through me). I often feel that I struggle against who I am, trying to be who I think I should be. your line, "it is simply and beautifully who I am" really struck me. I needed to read this right about now.

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  44. I need to bookmark this post. THIS IS TOTALLY ME. And I feel like that dopamine explanation actually really makes sense. I also panic about just having to talk, like when it's my turn in the conversation, especially when it's something important.

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  45. This post is so beautifully written. I already knew I was an introvert, but I didn't realize that so many of my characters were related to being an introvert. As I was reading this I kept agreeing over and over again. Very well written. Thank you.

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  46. this was a great post moorea. after reading this, i have been re-affirmed to many of my own qualities. i have always had a difficult time speaking when im with more than a few people, even people i know well sometimes. im much better at one on one. and i too always like to pass up the chit chat and get to the realness of someone. if im going to be friends with someone, i want to know the real them and what is really going on in their heart, not just what shirt they bought yesterday. and i have found it hard sometimes to find others who do open up like this, so many people dont want to talk about their real feelings. and sometimes i make up excuses to not go and do something i would probably really love to do b/c i can get anxious about so many people being there. i have to be in the right moment for certain things. i get super nervous meeting people. and the same things happens, when i know i have something to say, i go silent in the moment b/c my thoughts get all jumbled up. in a way, the internet has allowed so much of me to be able to open up, through my blog. im able to speak out of my heart when i cant always in person. and in turn have found many ways through art to express my deepest thoughts and emotions, even if i am the only one who understands what it was suppose to mean. i think many artists are probably a bit like this. its a different kind of sensitivity to the world. not necessarily a bad thing, just part of what makes us unique. i wouldnt have it any other way though. thank you again for sharing a bit of your heart.

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  47. Definitely an introvert. Interesting to read something that describes me so accurately. :)

    Also, I just wanted to say - every time I see a picture of you I'm reminded of a post you did a couple weeks ago (maybe more? I might have been in the archives) about how surprised and flattered you were when an older man told you how beautiful you are. I thought you'd like to hear that I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw your picture on your blog.

    While I'm at it, I love your blog too! :)

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  48. i'm an introvert and totally get exhausted after a party or some sort of get together because of all the constant interaction and smiling and nodding and blah blah blah! i love everything you said in the last paragraph.

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  49. I love-thus-so, Moorea! :) I'm an introvert and always have been - I've had many a person think I'm a snob for just enjoying silence or being too shy to start a conversation, and those labels and misjudegments couldn't be more wrong! I often get 'peopled-out', but it doesn't mean I don't like people - I enjoy the company of a close few more than a bunch of acquaintances. I always say 'I'm better on paper', too - lol - leaving notes and writing letters comes much more naturally to me than saying them (especially when they're important feelings) - and I love this about myself, misunderstood or not. :) Hugs!!

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  50. Hi, I am so happy to read this, in talking about yourself you have pretty much described myself. What I find really annoying is feeling apologetic and like I have to make excuses for not wanting to go out every weekend, or for being a "nana." It is hard to just stand up for yourself and accept that I find a much wider range of things interesting and stimulating than parties and going to town. And yeah, it seems I can get along well with a most people but there are very few I will have enough of a connection with to really become friends with them.

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  51. I am an introvert and you described exactly how I feel! It's great to know that there are others like me. I tend to be quiet and people often misread that as I'm being snobby - if they only knew! Thank you for sharing this!

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  52. Moorea -- What a great blog post! It was so compelling that I've shared it on my blog:

    http://www.theconfidentintrovert.com/2011/07/20/the-introvert-revelation/

    Thank you for writing such a beautiful post about the advantages of being an introvert.

    P.S. I highly recommend Laney's book. It's wonderful.

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  53. Great article! I think I am an introvert too, though I do have some extroverted qualities. I like to think before I speak and I don't care for chit chat much either and like the more meaningful conversations. I've been called shy a lot growing up but as I'm getting older I'm starting to realize that what people said wasn't really right, and that it's probably introversion. Oh and I actually recently finished reading the book you mentioned, The Introvert Advantage, and I recommend it!

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  54. "When I prepare myself to speak thoughtfully, sometimes I get so worked up just about the fact that I need to speak that I lose all of my intellectual thoughts and I feel like I have nothing worthy to say" This could have come straight out of my mouth! Thank you thank you for writing!!

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  55. Thanks for your post! I am definitely an introvert, and always having to defend myself, as people constantly think i'm rude and bitchy, or shy, or both, when i'm not!!! I wish introverts were more accepted/understood!

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  56. Great article. I've always had some idea of the introvert and extrovert personality types but have only just started looking into it in detail since recently splitting with my (extrovert) girlfriend of 3.5 years. I'm quite far up on the introvert scale and used to find her need to watch TV at full volume very annoying, wanting to go to festivals with big groups of people wasn't for me and l felt really guilty about wanting to sit quietly and relax in the evenings.

    I'm sure it is possible for introverts and extroverts to get on in a relationship but I know what I'm looking for in a relationship and it's not an extrovert! I heard the phrase recently: "Opposites attract, then they attack."

    So glad to have read the article :)

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  57. thank you very much for writing about this. I too am an introvert and relate to your words. I am slowly understanding what being an introvert entails and slowly starting to stop apologising for who I am and how I am.

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