Healing Your Self Image // Maddie from Spidatter

Meet Maddie from Spidatter:  Hello, hello! I've only recently become a "real life" friend of Moorea, made possible by my January move from Santa Barbara, CA, to Seattle, WA. Weird that I was following her blog way before that? Ha, on the contrary—I think it's a beautiful thing. The blog world serves to bring people together in the best of ways, and now I get to meet all of you through a guest blog post. Honored.

A few of my best friends and I joke around a fair amount about spiritual gifts. At the risk of sounding completely sacrilegious, allow me to explain. Different religions talk about the gifts of healing, serving, prophecy and teaching, among many others. I have yet to feel a direct call on my life that lines up perfectly with one of the obvious aforementioned. So a few years back we would find slightly more irreverent talents and gifts, and dub them our "spiritual gifts." Example: The gifts of...making baller mix CDs/playlists...creating perfect salad dressings from scratch...coming up with witty Facebook photo album names...coming up with the perfect nickname for new friends...making damn good lists. Like I said before—walking that fine line of sacrilege. Good thing I've always firmly believed that God has a solid sense of humor. While none of these things directly touch the spiritual realm, we like to still think they are gifts that clearly not every has. Like the guy in high school who made me a mix CD with Nickelback's Someday on it—he didn't have the gift.

But, I digress...the point of that rabbit-trail-of-an-introduction was that making lists has been something of a spiritual gift for me, so to speak. It actively transfers thoughts/ideas/tasks from the warped maze that is my brain, onto tangible paper. I write letters in list form often. They are easy to read for others, and to the point—it's hard to beat around the bush when you have to number the beatings. Clearly, I should have gone the list-route with this guest post—next time

Not shocking that  the most well-received post on my own personal blog, Spidatter, was a giant list. It was a makeshift advice column I wrote after spending my first six months in Seattle. The # most readers commented on was the following simple sentence:

"No one else will notice that your nails
are chipped, hair is dirty, make-up isn't right or that you've gained
five pounds. But they will notice you fretting about it."

It seemed to resonate with so many women, that I felt the need to share it again here. I've had quite a few male friends confirm it (including my dad☺), and while it most likely makes perfect sense to you as you read it, I'd venture to say that all of us do it on a daily basis. We focus on the bad, and tell other people about it willingly through our constant fretting and self-deprecating banter. Let's put an end to it, ladies! Highlight the good, share openly about your beautiful talents and passions, and no one will have time to give a second thought to any of your shortcomings.

The photos I took above are of my dear best friend, Sarah, doing the daily make-up routine. The thing about Sarah though, is that she really doesn't need the make-up—the girl glows and draws people to her with a stunning and healthy self-confidence. She's never busy worrying about how others might be perceiving her, so she has all the more time and energy to simply perceive otherstheir needs, their desires, their wants. And that is a rare and lovely thing these days.

Do you all have someone like that in your life? Is there a certain piece of your self image that you are constantly toying with and drawing negative attention to? Ready to put an end to it?


Mrsink said...

That's such a great post! I have a friend who's self-confident, kind to others and always gives off "that glow". It's forced me to think about how I view myself and like you said, stop worrying over the little things because others don't notice them.

Allie said...

Mother of pearl, Maddie! You are an outstanding writer. Kind of jealous. You're so funny and insightful. I'm such a self-conscious person. I think I need to move from the self to the other, like your friend Sarah. God knows I spend way too much energy getting down on myself for my unwashed hair and ice cream intake. :)

Melanie said...

this post is beautiful and has me in tears. it hits so close to home. thank you for posting this.


thinkpriddy said...

i'm so ready.

petaline. said...

Oh my, this came at a perfect time for me. Thank you.


Angie said...

Girl, you are awesome! I can't believe I haven't visited your blog before. :D SO visiting you soon!!!

I know what you mean - I think confidence and self esteem is the BEST accessory. I have pretty healthy self love, however my wife sadly does not. Her parents we're that into helping build her self esteem growing up, she was home-schooled like me and she didn't have any sibs. So for her, self esteem didn't really come that regularly nor was it taught.

We're both working on helping her overcome that, 'cause trust me, she is beautiful inside and out!

Caitlin said...

I love that quote, perfect!

Madeline said...

SO glad this hit home with all of you. Thanks for the feedback, ladies.

nova said...

That's something I tell myself all the time. So what if my skirt twists weird when I walk? Just act like it's supposed to look that way and nobody will even notice!

Rachell said...

Lovely post and welcome to Seattle!

I had the chance luck of running into Moorea once - how lovely to have come all that way and now you two are friends in real life!