20.5.12

Some Cats Use Their Powers for Evil...

While I was house sitting for my parents and taking care of my youngest sister a few weeks ago in Norther California, I had some pretty funny experiences with my parents and sister's animals.  My parents have 3 cats and my sister has a little chihuahua terrier mix.  Let me give you a run down on the three cats extremely different personalities.  They have Hamilton "Hammy" which is a maine coon cat and is freakishly smart.  He loves black hair ties and keeps 2 black hair ties in a specific bowl at all times.  He can climb a brick wall in the house.  If you put a hair tie on the corner of a wooden chair, he knows how to stick his paw in the hair tie, pull it back, and launch it across the room so he can chase after it.  He has extra "thumbs" on his paws, as in there are the 4 normal kitty finger things and then he has a thumb on each cat hand that is lower than the rest like a human thumb!  He will drag blankets from the bedroom across the house to then pile them on the kitchen table at the other end of the house from the bedrooms.  Basically, he is some sort of cat genius I think.  And he is super tricky and clever like my youngest sister who seems to harness all of the power in the world.
Addy is the black and white cat who is super girly, if a cat can be girly.  If you could call a cat a flirt and a charmer, that would be Addy.  She is super snuggly and loves to be in warm places, she loves boys, her black and white coat just looks fancy.  And no joke, multiple guys who have come over to the house have said, "If Addy were a human she would be the best girlfriend."  She is just a warm, cute, sweet little thing.  And we say that she is most like my middle sister who is one of the friendliest and most likeable people ever.
And lastly we come to Wellington III, or "Welly."  He has always been my favorite because he is a little weird.  He has grey hair with bright yellow eyes and is deaf and probably has something screwed up in his brain because he's seriously a weirdo.  He is very particular, only he can choose whether you are going to pet him or not, he's a bit fickle and aloof, but he has always been snuggly with me.  So I always liked him in his strange ways.
Well, when I was house sitting for 2 weeks, Welly got a million times weirder in a creepy way.  He does this thing where he will wander into a random room in the house, sit himself down, and will just start meowing at the top of his lungs "REEEOOOW!! MAAAUW!  RAOOOW!"  basically just demanding for you to come find him.  He only drinks water from his paw, as in instead of sticking his face in the water bowl like most cats do and lapping it up with his tongue, he instead dips his left hand into the water and then licks the water off his hand.  Not so efficient.
After a day or two of me being there while my parents were in Israel, he basically started stalking me around the house.  I'd be trying to work on my computer at a desk and he would either come up right behind the screen and poke his head above it and just stare at me with his demon eyes, or he would just violently run across the room and leap onto my keyboard while I was typing.
The weirdest thing he would do is that he would just show up wherever I was currently at or wherever I was going to in the house and would just sit and glare at me, not moving for a solid 5-10 mins at least.  He would stealthily show up without me hearing him and all of a sudden I would realize he is right there giving me a solid angry stare down.  Shudder.  If I was sitting in bed working, he would come up behind me on the ledge above the bed and would sit above me and glare down at me.  If I was working at the kitchen table I would suddenly find him on the table next to me glaring at me.  If I was in the kitchen he would suddenly show up sitting on the counter staring me down.  Living room, he would sit in the middle of the room looking at me like he was about to pounce on me and rip my face off.  He basically was freaking me out the entire 2 weeks I was home.  Such a weirdo!!  So the images above are of him, the times that I found him staring me down and I happened to have my phone on me.  It is a miracle he didn't kill me at some point in those two weeks.  That cat puts me on edge!  I use to think, oh Welly and I are so similar, kinda weird and neurotic, but I think differently now... I don't have that maniacal look in my eyes the way that he does. 

Moral of the story, cats are weird.  I think they are all pretty smart and some of them use their intelligence for good, like Addy, charming the pants off of anyone.  Some of them use their smarts to do rad tricks like Hammy, cat adventurer and inventor.  But some cats use their smarts for evil... like Welly.  Beware cat owners, if you have a cat like Welly, there is a 78% chance that he will kill you in your sleep.  I seriously ran into my bedroom every night and slammed the door shut and did a sweep of the room to make sure he wasn't hiding in there, waiting for me to fall asleep so he could using his little kitty claws to claw my face off in the night.  I think my first pet of my own will be a dog.  :)

15 comments:

Lucy said...

Ha, this post made me laugh so much. I think cats are smart and manipulative. Fortunately for me, I got a cute 'flirty' one but I used to babysit at a house with a stalker cat. I used to lock it in the conservatory, I was that scared of it. Seems silly when they're like a fraction of the size of us. But still, evil geniuses in the making (just wait til they develop opposable thumbs!)

Noor said...

lol My cat back home looks just like this one :)

erin said...

Welly is adorable! :)

Angie Bailey said...

AW! He's a cutie. Remember, even a weirdo needs love. ;) I think he just finds you an amazing human, so he wants to be around ya. :P

Also, Mau and Wedge are so different and have such cute little habits. I love cats. Wedge will also "scoop" up the water!!!

Natalie Mulford said...

Aww, this makes me miss my cat, I had to leave him with my ex when we seperated. He was my first cat, I've always been a dog person, when all of a sudden, I fell head over heals for this cat. It was certainly a learning experience, cats are so different to dogs. Oh, with the loud meowing, wanting attention, Henry would do that. I loved how they seemed to have 'tones' to their meows. I would constantly find Henry's 'cranky' meows amusing, cats give good attitude! Did you end up sleeping with one eye open!?

Meghan said...

Welly probably was plotting your demise. My cat gets in moods like that sometimes, though he's a bit on the pudgy side so it's a bit harder to take his creepin' seriously!

Sarah said...

One of the cats my parents have now decided to adopt us. He's kind of a devil cat too. Like Welly, he decides when it's ok for him to be pet. And if you happen to be petting him and he decides he's not cool with it anymore, you better be fast to move your hand otherwise I'm pretty sure there's a good chance you'll lose a finger. He doesn't like other cats coming around his territory either. He's been in a ton of cat fights, one of which resulted in him now being blind in one eye. It's pretty creepy to see a cat with two different colored eyes...
Anyway, after having cats while living with my parents, I decided too that my first pet would be a dog.

Christopher Seal said...

Bahahah! I think Wellie is in love with you. He loves to just sit and admire you everywhere you are. I noticed his desire to be near you 24/7 myself.

JenetteD said...

Best post. You've met Karu yah? Maybe it is a cats with yellow eyes thing, she is glaring at me with that death look as I type. BTW ask Anne about her new feelings towards dogs.

Lape said...

Your post made me smile. Nigerians (especially Yoruba people) are superstitious about cats (as in, do not like cats much) and from your post, I'm sure you understand why :-)

Earendil said...

ha ha, i laughed so much! i also find cats very interesting, they're all so manipulative in their own way... i used to know a cat who really behave like a dog: she would run at the door when someone opened it, and used to follow people everywhere around the house, she was a bit weird too... ^^

Sarah said...

this is so funny! the pictures are the greatest. cats can be really creepy. i just found out about these cats that have an extra digits, they're also called hemingway cats. its pretty neat.

Alexandra said...

Glad to see you spend so much time in my old room <3

bunnyeatsdesign said...

I loved reading this post and the low-down on the cats different personalities. Maybe Welly is just misunderstood. Maybe he is actually in love with you? In a creepy, brooding, emo-teen kind of way.

Dogs wear all their emotions on their face and are super easy to please, as well as turn sad just dealing with you leaving the house each day can be heartache for them.

A free-roaming rabbit might be a suitable alternative. They can be very sweet and affectionate once you get to know them.

judy said...

regular kitties have 18 toes: 5 on each front paw and 4 on each foot. hammy still sounds like a genius though.