Hey ya friends! March is coming to a close already, can you believe it? Gosh, this year so far has just flown by me and I can't believe all that has happened in 3 months time. I am fully looking forward to a fresh new month ahead. Honestly, I feel like all of the hardships I have experienced so far in 3 months have prepared me for a more peaceful period of life ahead for the rest of the year. I have some amazing things lined up for my personal life, my business and my blog for the rest of the year and I am fully trusting that the hard things that have hit me in my family so far this year have just taught me how important it is to invest in myself and my well being during tumultuous times of life. My future will hold many many ups and downs greater than I have already experienced. So with each pain and heartache, I seek to remember that each experience teaches me something important and good.
On a lighter note, I'd love to offer my readers 25% off of advertising on my blog for the month of April. I see brightness and joy ahead and I want to share a little love with you as you guys have really shared so much kindness with me over the last few weeks. Thank you for all of your loving and comforting words that you have shared on my blog, twitter, and instagram lately. You've brought me immense comfort. Use the code: FRIENDSHIP to take 25% off of any size of ad right now. Go here to pick out your ad and enter the code after you've chosen your ad size.
LIFE UPDATES & PLANS FOR NEXT WEEK
For the next week I will have some wonderful friends guest posting on my blog while I am in California with my family. I asked a few of my favorite friends on the web if they would give us some tours of their homes. Home, love, and comfort are all I want to be wrapped up in right now, so I thought that theme would be appropriate for this week. 52 Lists will still continue on as usual on Tuesdays while I am away :)
I will be going back home to be with my family, to hug my momma who has been through a lot recently facing breast cancer, to attend my grandpa's funeral, and to just be and let myself mourn fully in the places I call home. I think everything finally hit me yesterday night and I'm finally really feeling this weight now. I'm so task oriented that sometimes, mourning doesn't really kick in until I've gone through all the motions preparing myself for the "event" of mourning. I've tried to get all my ducks in order this week, I've deep cleaned my apartment, my car, organized my office, booked doctors & chiropractor appointments, I even ordered and bunch of books about Vegetarianism & Veganism. Yea, I've been going a little crazy with trying to create wellness in my space and life. And now, I'm at the point where I feel like I can't prepare anymore for traveling home, I can't do anymore to protect myself from feeling worse than my normal state. And thats why things finally feel like they have sunk in.
I realize I am more than mourning the passing of my grandpa. I feel like I am mourning the end of an era. My grandma passed away a year and a half ago which of course shook my spirits deeply. And now with my grandpa dying, I realize that I am losing more than the presence of my grandpa. I am losing the life of that generation that filled my grandparents' house. I am saying goodbye to the yearly or bi-yearly trips to visit them. I am saying goodbye to staying at their house every time my family or I visited them. I am saying goodbye to inviting friends to come see my grandparent's house & to meet my grandparents. Goodbye to new stories I hadn't hear before from them, uttered from their own mouths, their own point of views. Goodbye to the routines & traditions, the songs they would sing & games we would play, the places they would take us. I can keep singing those songs & playing those games, visiting those places but it's now an act of remembrance rather than experiencing those things in the moment with my grandparents there with me. I don't have the courage to stay at their house while my family and I go down there for my grandpa's funeral. I will visit it, but it's not the same experience for me now. It's a place I need to go to to fully let myself mourn.
I need that next task in my process of mourning. I look forward to just being there & taking it all in with my immediate & extended family surrounding me. I'm incredibly grateful that I have the most thoughtful boyfriend who has been treating me with so much kindess and compassion this past week. Ugh, I would be a mess without him. And I am very very grateful for all of you who placed orders in my shop this week. You helped me fund my trip and I feel like that weight of being nervous about not working for a week has been lifted off of my shoulders. So thank you so so very much my friends.
So ladies & gents, enjoy the next week ahead while I am gone. Send your love to all of my kind friends who have been sweet enough to guest post on my blog this coming week. I may or may not be tweeting &/or instagramming while I'm on my trip. I'm just going to do whatever feels natural & good while I'm away. And I hope you can do the same this coming week too. Do what is best for you and give your love to those who give to you. And give your love to those who you see are really in need of a little extra right now. Your kindness is powerful. I've felt it this week, thank you :)