10.7.13

We're Talking About It: The Bad Roommate


My friend Ariel Shannon Cohen and I are starting a new series on my blog that we are both extremely passionate about.  Let's get serious guys.  Beyond the things I make, beyond fashion and all the silly and fun things of life, there is one thing I care about most.  I care about the well being of women.  Guys, I care about the well being of EVERY human, every creature.  I know the statistics of how many women are mistreated every year, every day, every 2 minutes.  I can honestly say that the statistic saying 70% of women have been sexually abused in some way rings true among the women I know.  It's a hard truth, one that society tries to mask in shame.  Our country, our world tries to tell women that what has happened TO them is actually in some way their fault.  The world tries to make men out to be these pathetic numbskulls whose sex drives define their every move, that they cannot be held responsible for their animalistic urges.  Our mass community tries to tell women that their stories is something that needs to remain hidden, that a woman's value is decreased somehow because of their sexual experience and most especially their sexual experiences of abuse.

Are you as outraged as me?  Are you scared to reveal what has happened in your life, how others have mistreated you?  My friends, this series is all about supporting you, you who have endured horrible experiences that you feel like you can't erase, you who want to fight for the rights of ones you love who have been taken advantage of.  I am an ally to you my sisters and brothers who have experienced abuse, I will fight for you and support you no matter what.  This topic, this epidemic of sexual abuse is so close to my heart.  I know for a fact I would have, and would now sacrifice my entire being to prevent the pains of so many that I love who have been through this trauma and torture.  I want to do something great for all my friends and loved ones whose experiences stil haunt them.  My friend, and your new friend Ariel is a powerful and very intelligent young women who is not only willing, but empowered to share her story to help bring community and support to those who can relate, and those who want to support.  I am SO proud of Ariel for approaching me about wanting to partner together to bring empowerment and love to our community on the web through sharing her experiences, her healing process, her wisdom and love.  I definitely come from an emotional healing perspective, and Ariel in addition to wanting to create a space for emotional healing also has wonderful, wise, and straight forward facts to share with us about changing our perspectives, creating discussion, and empowering our community.

If you have experienced sexual abuse, if you feel like you can't define what has happened to you, but you just know it was NOT something good, we are are here to support you.  If you feel the weight of the ones you love, the pains they carry with them everyday and you want to do something about it, we support you.  This series is for all of you.  And we know that abuse doesn't just happen to women and girls, it happens to men and boys too.  And my brothers, though this may be a little more geared toward women because most of our readers are women, we still want to include you.  We love you all and we hope that this series does something powerful within and outside of our community of friends on the web and outside of the web.  Your self worth, your faith in yourself, your self empowerment, your value, your physical and inner beauty, your wisdom, you power, your love, every element of you is YOURS, and we are here to support you in your journey wherever you are at.  You are loved.

Our first post in the series will be this Friday.  I am so grateful to have this space so that I can finally fully share what I am MOST passionate about.  I care about YOU.  And I'm beyond grateful that Ariel is excited to do something big with her own story, to share and be open to discussion. We promise to try our best to convey every message, every story, and every drop of little wisdom, factual evidence, and love with thoughtfulness and encouragement.

Ps, what does "The Bad Roommate" mean that is referenced in the title of this series?
As defined by Ariel, It's that nagging, guilt-tripping voice in the back of your head that helps you second-guess yourself and weighs you down with old insecurities.  With this series, we're going to get that bad roommate to shut up already! :)

Call 1-800-656-HOPE to be connected to live, confidential counseling 24 hours a day through over 1,100 rape crisis centers nationwide. You can also seek help online from the Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network (RAINN) National Sexual Assault Online Hotline and find a counselor through their {network of providers}. Canadians, please consider the bilingual Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres (CASAC/ACCCACS). Live somewhere else? RAINN has an impressive roundup of links to victims’ resources by country here and you can also access a comprehensive international directory of victims’ services in 100 different languages here.

I know that it takes a lot of courage to talk, let's ramp up our courage together.  If you are willing to start this journey with us for yourself and or for those you want to support and encourage, feel free to grab a button to put on your blog.  I think with our collective voices, we can do a LOT of good for a lot of people.  Start with just a button on your blog, and maybe in time start talking :)

Moorea Seal


14 comments:

Lauren Douglas said...

I love this. This makes me respect you that much more.

Ffion said...

Wow! That came out of the blue. Sounds amazing - I have so much respect for you guys right now. The statistics really put our society to shame...

Charlie said...

This is such a beautiful thing!

petal and plume said...

such important words.
xx

Esmé said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Esmé said...

Oh my gosh. I'm so surprised to see this here (I was expected a post about, well, bad roommates) -- but am so glad, too.

I was raped when I was 17. I went to Planned Parenthood the next morning to get tested and to get the morning-after pill. Unfortunately, the guy had been my boyfriend, and I stayed with him (despite his various kinds of abuse) for over a year -- until he was arrested and put in jail for multiple felonies, including possession of child pornography and attempting to seduce a minor. When he got out, he tried to reconnect. Thank goodness I cut things off. I'm in a wonderful relationship right now with someone who would never dream of hurting me. I am very lucky, but it always makes me sad to know that sexual abuse is so common.

x
Es

Ashlee said...

This has come at such an expected but wonderful time for me as I work through my own personal things. I don't know if I can share as bravely as some others (as I fall into the category of not being able to define what's happened to me, but knowing it's not okay), but this is such a beautiful project with such a wonderful message.

Anonymous said...

Only one person knows my story, and not even all of it. I was sexually abused as a preteen, by another female who was a year younger than me. It all happened in a daycare environment. It made for a very complicated childhood and teenage years. I would say it even caused a sexual addiction I fought for many years. I didn't know how to face it, and still feel like I'm uncovering the emotional scarring. Thank you for providing an open forum for discussion, sharing and healing. Even writing the words helps me to realize my strength and fight the battle.

Roots and Feathers said...

i love you, oh so much.

Anonymous said...

also falling into the not being able to define but knowing it's not ok category, and it's been a constant mindfuck for the past 20 years to put it bluntly... something not a lot of people i know understand, so this is really nice

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy you're talking about this stuff. I know that your blog is truly a safe space and it will be a good place for people who have endured abuse or assault to interact, grow, recover, share, grieve, accept and love.

Anonymous said...

I'm also a woman who was assaulted by a woman. For the past three years since it happened I've been pretty effed up. It's hard to explain the experience to others because... well... I don't really know why. Because it's like "nontraditional" sexual assault? I can barely explain it to myself.

Anyway. I just want you to know that you're not alone and it's okay to talk about it.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your support. You said it exactly, it's hard to even make sense of it in my own head. It took a long time to even admit to myself it was assault. I hope you can find peace and that the confusion and hurt will continue to disappear.

I'm beginning to see how we, assault victims, can emerge into even more beautiful and complex beings because of our experiences. It's figuring out how to do it that becomes tricky. And we all have a different way to do it. So grateful to have someone, out there somewhere, standing by my side.

*N

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post.