Here's the deal. This year, I had the secret goal to keep a separate SECRET and PRIVATE blog in which I would write a sweet love note to my boyfriend every day to then surprise him with at Christmas at the end of the year. Pretty cute and thoughtful and romantic right?
...And then earlier tonight I managed to accidentally PUBLISH one of my love notes on my public blog, the blog I write on weekly, the one with thousands of followers, the one that is set up in RSS feeds all over the place, the one I use for business. Oh yea, that's this blog. And did I happen to publish the ONLY love note so far that I had written that mentions sex to my public blog?
Oh yes, yes I did. What a genius < note my heavy sarcasm here.
GIANT FACE PALM.
Did I just spend the last hour crying because I am incredibly embarrassed that this love note is now public and stuck in RSS feeds of my peers, friends, friends of friends, strangers, followers, customers and more? Why yes, yes I did.
Did I just spend the last hour crying because I needed to explain to my boyfriend why I was crying out of nowhere with my head in hands, after having such a sweet and romantic date night with him? Yes. Did I need to explain that I had this grand and romantic plan of writing a love note everyday to him SECRETLY that I would do all year long but I now just accidentally publish publicly the ONLY love note so far that I had written that referenced sex on my one and only blog I use for my brand? Why yes, I did do that and yes I needed to explain to him why I was so upset.
Did I just spend the last hour desperately searching the internet for a quick remedy to erase my love note from all trace of the web, from my blog, from RSS feeds on computers and phones and ipads? Yes. Did I find a way? Nope.
Did I frantically and stupidly delete the post from my blog so that I now can't recover it and can't edit it so that at the very least, the post stays live but the content gets edited and therefore the content changes on all RSS feeds? Yep. Good job self. I now can't delete that effing post from any RSS feeds. Nice.
Screw it. Here's the most graceful way I can deal with this. Be real and address the elephant in the room.
So you are welcome internet. It's now written in stone for all to see:
1. I love my boyfriend of 4 years so incredibly deeply it's disgusting and I want to shower him with words that remind him of how much I appreciate him, respect him, admire him, and adore him.
2. Our 4 year anniversary is in a week and I am even more madly in love with him than all the times I thought I was the most madly in love with him.
3. We have lived together for almost a year and a half, we never fight, we work hard to keep our relationship balanced, healthy, and filled with kindness, understanding, support, love, and joy.
4. When we first dated long distance for 8 months, we kept a private blog where we wrote each other love notes and boring notes, all of the notes. And those are written and contemplative words I will cherish forever. So, welcome to one note of my private life.
5. No you shall not be reading any more of my PRIVATE love notes because really you'll barf from the cute-ness of it all, not because there is anything spicy in there. The one I accidentally published tonight is as spicy as my love notes get, sorry to disappoint.
6. Guess what, we have sex like most people do after being devoted to each other for many years. So there ya go, that explains my small reference to sex in my openly published love note.
Well, now that I have vented and stopped crying from extreme embarrassment, I've said the word sex on the blog, I've told the internet, hey shocking, I'm 27 and I have sex with my boyfriend of 4 years, here's the last thing I have to say: I'm not embarrassed that I have sex with the person I am devoted to for life. I'm annoyed that my private life was accidentally barfed onto my blog with one simple click when I am usually SUPER cautious with what I post and I'm completely sober. ugh, face palm again.
Long winded freak out with tears turned statement of the facts of life shall now end.
Thanks for not making me feel more crappy than I already do in this situation. Your humor and kindness always helps ease embarrassing and difficult moments like this.